Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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