Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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