Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
