Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
