so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
