No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
