Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
do herpes really smell.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
