Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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