Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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