this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
