none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
