We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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