how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
