That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
