talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
