Welp...herpes.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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