i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
