This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
