Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
