I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
