for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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