Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
