Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
nutella sex= disaster
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
