I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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