I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
