She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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