Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
