Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
