Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
