Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
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Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
