put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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