I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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