I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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