I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
PANTIES FOUND
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