if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
