I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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