I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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