I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
