Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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