He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I wear drunk well.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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