Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
