What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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