Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
