apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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