He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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