he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
