it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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