YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
