Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
