Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
