i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
