Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
