somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
