3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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